TV Review: SKINS – Scripted Kiddie Porn Comes to MTV

I had seen the ads everywhere. The commercials filled with quick cuts and flashy lights and the print ads filled with layered teenage bodies all ready for a good time. And in the season premiere of this UK remake on MTV, Skins proves one thing…if you’re young teenager isn’t snorting coke, smoking weed, ditching school, partying hard, ignoring their parents, getting into fights, talking in abbreviated Juno-speak, and fucking everything that moves like they’re Charlie fucking Sheen…apparently, they should be. Because then they will be cool.

Now I’ve never seen the UK version of Skins, but from what I hear, it’s much better than the US version (not a shocker). And surprisingly, the US version has cut out the gay character – because teenagers giving tons of head and taking it in the ass is fine – unless it’s two teenage dudes.  

And I know this review makes me a bit hypocritical, as I used to rally around the fact that TV doesn’t desensitize or influence kids that badly…but I was wrong. And now, at age 30, I wonder what my teenage years would have been like if there were things like this on TV. There was “Real World” and shows like that when I was a teen – but that was adults doing adult things (or at least college kids). Let’s call Skins what it really is – scripted Kiddie Porn.

It takes those Abercrombie and Fitch ads…and puts words into the models mouths.  In case boys and pedophiles didn’t have enough material to masturbate to…thank God for Skins.

On the technical side, the directing is nicely done without too much frenetic movement. And the acting itself is OK. The first episode featured the character Tony, played by James Newman, 18, who apparently was a boxer who just happened to show up at the auditions. If this kid is a nice guy in real life, then he’s a great actor, because he plays a douchebag with utter conviction.  The other actors are all OK, and I look forward to seeing more from the girl who plays Tea…who is a lesbian…and crazy hot.

That’s the other problem with this show…since the actors actually ARE teenagers (not like in my day where the 90210 stars were actually 26) – I kind of feel bad watching them makeout and writhe against each other and wear clothes that some strippers wouldn’t be caught in. And yet part of me likes it. And that’s the whole point of the show…

The show is completely glorifying teen sex, drugs, parental negligence, and illegal behavior. I’m far from a prude – the opposite actually – but how many shows can MTV put on that glorifies the WORST in teen behavior?

From Jersey Shore to TEEN MOMS (the downfall of society) to My Sweet 16 to now Skins – how are teens supposed to TRY to do the right thing or TRY to do well in school or TRY to resist peer pressure when every single show targeted at them is about anything but? They are all about getting laid, getting high, and how stupid and disconnected their parents are…well DUH.

When I was a teen (and it really wasn’t THAT long ago), if a 16 year old chick got pregnant – guess what – she was a stupid WHORE who was driven to the clinic. She wasn’t a fucking reality star. Maybe – just MAYBE – if networks like MTV and even ABC Family to a degree would stop making all the really bad behavior seem like such a good idea, teen girls might stop whoring themselves out on webcams and teen boys would stop killing themselves over being gay. It’s not THE reason these things happen certainly, but it can’t help.

And going back to the 90210 comparison – that show dealt with similar topics like teen suicide, teen pregnancy, sex in high school, cheating, fighting, rape, drug use, etc. BUT – they showed the consequences to the characters’ actions.  It wasn’t all fun and games. GLEE does a similar nice job trying to show consequences to actions and words (with the exception of that whole teen pregnancy thing which seemed to go away without a problem).

But Skins is unabashed in taking those consequences out of the equation. And that’s the biggest issue with teenagers today – they don’t think about consequences. And why should they? Parents and teachers don’t hold them responsible for anything, and TV shows are telling them not to worry – it will all blow over in 60 minutes or less.

Good luck Skins, I hope you inspire plenty of 14 year olds girls to rush out and get their first STD. Hey, that sounds like an idea for a spinoff…instead of Skins…Lesions!