It’s Willamette, Damnit!!

By Danny Manus

I’m sorry for not posting this sooner, but August has been one crazy month both for No BullScript and for me personally! And it started off the best way possible – in Portland at the Willamette Writers Conference. This was my 4^th – possibly 5^th – year going to the conference. To be honest, I don’t remember how many years it’s been. But once again, it did not disappoint and is still one of my favorite Writers Conferences of the year.

The Willamette Conference has a very different vibe than the conferences in Los Angeles I attend. First, it’s probably 60% literary – so there are lots of smart book people walking around. They are usually pretty scared of us film folk and keep a good distance.

There’s definitely an invisible wall between the book and film executives no matter how hard we all try to knock it down. Portland’s a fun town, and after a full day of giving classes, taking pitches, and using our brains, the film execs like to go out and have some fun. We try to include the bookies, but every year they choose to return to their comfy hotel rooms and read themselves to sleep. Oh well.

However, on friday night, we did all attend a lovely dinner together which made me look at baby carrots in a whole new way. It was…an interesting dinner. And if anyone is ever looking for a passionate, verbose chef, let me know – I have just the guy for you! For all the other late night hi-jinx, well, I’m afraid Vegas isn’t the only city that can keep a secret.

The writers in Portland are also very different from LA writers. Many are older, many are published authors, and many like to write smaller personal journey stories. There’s nothing wrong with this, but as I’ve always preached – know your audience. There were some BIG name companies there this year – Fox 2000, GK Films, New Line, William Morris Endeavor, etc. – and they don’t want to hear tiny little personal journey stories. They want to hear something exciting and commercial and something that jumps off the page without even reading a page. Out of the 30ish pitches I heard, at least half of them were set in Portland. Writers write what they know – I get that – but let your imagination take you to other places in your writing.

Now, Portland has some amazing stories – dark, awesome stories. It’s the number one city in the country for sex trafficking. It also has more strip clubs per capita than any other city in the country (um, so I hear). And yet almost every Portland-set story I was pitched was a low budget dramedy or drama or comedy.  However, it’s still better than last year where all I got were period pieces.

One thing I will say about the Portland writers – they are all such nice people. They are amazingly welcoming and sweet and will bend over backwards to help you, and that’s always appreciated. Especially since in LA, they will bend over backwards to stab you in the back.  And Willamette writers truly want to learn. They don’t JUST show up to pitch things, as many in LA do. They WANT to take the classes – they pay attention and take notes. They really seem to take everything in and want to get better and that’s the best quality for a writer to have.

I sat on 2 panels and taught two classes – “Become Your Own Development Exec,” which went over very well and “Loglines, Query Letter and One-Sheets…Oh My!” which was a new class but was exactly what these writers needed. I got great compliments on it and I hope everyone else enjoyed it as much as I did. I got to read through everyone’s loglines and show them what they needed. I wish I had taught this class on Friday instead of Sunday because out of the 30ish pitches, only about 3 had actual loglines. Most writers had taglines or short synopses, but almost NONE of the writers had a real logline. Hopefully after taking my class, I’ll come back next year to find a bunch of wonderfully constructed and sellable loglines!

There were some great speakers and teachers there this year for film and lit – really something for every writer at every level. And the executives this year were top notch and all really cared about writers and helping them succeed. I even made some new friends, which is even better than finding a great script. It was a great mix of people and made for a really relaxed, fun and enjoyable conference.

And it was a great weekend for No BullScript! We were advertising everywhere, I got to do my first book signing for my E-Book, and I have already started working with a bunch of new clients from the conference! I’d like to send a BIG THANK YOU to Gibran, Diane, Elisa, Joan, Julio, Donna and Robert, Stefan, Nancy (for bringing me there years ago) and everyone else at the conference! You’re awesome!

And I can’t wait to come back next year! Perhaps by then I will have learned how to correctly pronounce Willamette, which I still mess up after all these years. It’s Willamette, Damnit!

Spartacus!

How to Get a Recommend from a Script Consultant

By Danny Manus

In case any of you read Creative Screenwriting Magazine’s recent survey and analysis of the best Script Consultants out there, you may have noticed two things. One, I was named one of the Top 15 “Cream of the Crop” Script Consultants. And two, there are well over 100 script consultants out there, and each has their own point of view and experience and opinions on what deserves a recommend. 

Writers always want to know how they can get this elusive “recommend.” But even more than that, writers wonder what they should expect from a script consultant, how to find the right one for them and if the whole industry isn’t just a bunch of scam artists.

As for the last question, the answer is No. Are there less than credible consultants out there giving less than adequate or constructive notes? Absolutely. Are there people who charge far too much and deliver far too little? Absolutely. Personally, I think your script should never cost as much as your car. And I don’t suggest writers use anonymous services where you don’t know who is actually giving you notes. But as a whole, I have found that script consultants are writers/producers/executives/ teachers/managers, etc., that truly care and want to help writers improve and succeed. And they bring their experience and knowledge to those who need it.

I bring the executive perspective to my notes and I think that’s a valuable, different voice than many other consultants out there. I’m not putting down any other consultants, but many companies give you notes from another writer’s perspective (granted, a more established successful writer than yourself that probably has good insight), but when your script is ready to go out, you’re not going to be sending it to other writers – you’ll be sending it to executives!

I liken consultants to the American Idol judges (see my Mission Statement on my home page).  Simon’s not a singer, he’s not a songwriter, he’s not a performer – and yet he’s the one people trust because he’s the one that songwriters and singers GO TO and submit their stuff to – he’s the one that actually evaluates talent.

I say a good script consultant’s job is two-fold.  

1. To improve your writing abilities and open your eyes about your own script, giving you insight into your story (and the many story elements) that you perhaps did not see before, giving you a fresh set of eyes on your material and constructive feedback.  And…
2. Help make an uncommercial script more commercial so it has a better chance to sell or do well in a contest or garner you attention.

At No BullScript (did I mention we were recently ranked as one of the Top 15 “Cream of the Crop” consultants by CS Magazine?), I use a 20-point grading grid of elements to judge a script – including story, structure, concept, characters, commerciality, tone, dialogue, transitions, format and spelling, pacing, stakes, climax, originality, international appeal, etc. But then there’s the X factor. And for me, the X Factor is – does it read like a first time or amateur writer wrote it? That’s really the last and ultimate question I ask myself. Does this feel like it was written in 3 days? Does it feel like this is a first script? And if so, then it’s not ready and it doesn’t get a recommend.

But I ask myself these three questions before deciding on a grade:

1. Could I sell this? Is this something that could do well in the marketplace?
2. Could this script be a contest winner? Is the voice, writing and story strong enough to do well in screenwriting contests?
3. Even if it couldn’t sell and wouldn’t win a contest, would this script be a nice writing sample for the writer that could score him or her meetings?

If it’s a NO to all 3 questions, then it doesn’t get a recommend. At the end of the day, I put my executive hat back on and ask myself – would I pass this on to my boss to read? Would I be willing to put my name on this? And if the answer is no, then I can’t recommend it even if the basics are there. I would be doing you a disservice. And my reputation is more important to me than repeat business.

Too many companies out there hand out recommends because they want repeat business. I find that repeat business comes when you give good notes and specific, constructive things to work on. And I will say that almost all of my clients come back with a second script.

If your script has great potential but it isn’t there yet, I will give it a ‘Consider’. But if I can answer at least ONE of those questions above with a resounding yes, then your script has a good shot at getting a recommend.

Good luck and keep writing!

The Eternal Carrot

The whole entertainment industry is based on a Bugs Bunny Cartoon. That silly wabbit was constantly being led around by a carrot on a stick placed strategically just out of reach, though it seemed so close. This is the very essence of Hollywood and why thousands of people – from the homecoming queens to the techie geeks – swarm to Los Angeles every year. And it’s why people who have been in Los Angeles for 5, 10 or 15 years, stick around, even if they have yet to find success, money, or fame.

Everyone – actors, writers, directors, producers, etc – come out to LA with five year plans. But when five years comes and goes in what seems like a blink of an eye and you’re nowhere near where you thought you’d be…you have to find something that keeps you going.

Enter, the Carrot.

The lure of Hollywood is the fact that one month, you can be living on Ramen noodles and doing menial tasks 12 hours a day and the next month, you could be making a 6-digit salary and getting invites to the Oscars…And most of it is all due to luck and timing. I have a friend who, when he stepped off the proverbial boat, signed up with a temp agency and the first job he got through that agency was as Tom Cruise’s personal assistant. Seriously.

And we’ve all read the pieces in Variety about the boy from the Midwest who graduates college, moves out to LA one week, sends his first script (which he wrote in two weeks) to his old roommates’ friends’ brother who happens to be an assistant at an agency, who loves it, brings it to his boss, who also loves it, who gives it to a junior exec at Imagine or Bruckheimer or some studio and one week later, BAM – that lucky fresh off the boat sonuvabitch is eating so many carrots his face turns a lovely shade of orange.

But for most, it’s a much longer chase.

A solid 50 people from my graduating class moved out to Los Angeles around the same time. Bright-eyed and excited about our new paths in life, we’d all hang out and help each other, rooting for each other’s success. By the five year mark, probably 50 percent of them had left the business or moved back East. And since then, probably another 20% have joined them. By year ten, probably another 10% will have bitten the dust. And it’s not because they couldn’t hack it – it was because they stopped caring about the carrot.

They stopped visualizing it. Some just stopped enjoying the chase.  And others realized it wasn’t the right carrot for them. For some, their carrot became family, babies, and buying a house instead of isolation, long hours and eternally renting. I don’t blame them.

And while I miss some of them, part of me is happy they are gone because it means there’s one less person chasing that damn vegetable, so perhaps my odds (and yours) just got a bit better.

The limitless possibility for success is what separates Hollywood from other professions. It’s also the reason that entry level wages in Hollywood are insanely lower than almost every other profession – certainly lower than any profession for which you need a college degree. Teachers start at around 45k, Cops around 42k, Doctors and Lawyers around 150k. An entry level assistant in Hollywood starts around 20-25k. In Los Angeles, that’s barely livable wages. It’s all part of the test – to make sure you really want to be here. To make sure that you’re willing to sacrifice for your success. But it’s not really a question of “if” you’re willing to sacrifice, it’s “for how long?”

Because you just don’t know when or where or how you are going to get that big break – but it’s coming. Maybe it’s this next project you find, or write, or direct. Maybe it’s this little indie project you acted in for free. Maybe it’s this new assistant job for a bigwig studio exec. You just never know. And everyone thinks it will happen to them.

And just when you start realizing it might not…your best friend signs a multi-picture deal at a studio or her pilot spec gets bought or he books a role in a studio movie…and then you’re faced with an even bigger problem – trying not to hate your friend.  But that’s a whole different story.

You have to be optimistic. Keep writing, keep working, and keep planning. And keep telling yourself that you’re not giving up until you get a taste of that delicious carrot.

Vancouver Pitchmarket Review – Updated!!

This year for the Oscars, I was in Vancouver for the first annual Pitchmarket 2010, a screenwriting conference run by FTX West, where I was invited to teach a couple classes and take pitches. Now I had been to Vancouver a few years ago for a pitchfest event and one of the same people were running this event. So I was really looking forward to returning to Vancouver! I love the city of Vancouver – it’s like NY but cleaner, nicer and smaller. And everyone says ‘sorry’ when they bump into you on the street.

Now, the Olympics had just ended a week prior to my arrival, but the spirit was still in the air – as was much of the signage and posters, which was cool with me. The cab drivers and business owners seemed much more relaxed however.

I always look forward to these conferences – especially when they are outside of Los Angeles. It’s nice to get away, and Canada is sadly about as far as I get to travel to (seriously, doesn’t anyone in Europe need some screenwriting help?). I landed Friday afternoon after a delayed flight and as I was landing, my popping ears made me realize – oh yeah, I’m getting sick. And flying hurts. Good times.

Once I landed, I was taken to my hotel which was…not what I expected. It was more like a residential living facility. Now the rooms were very nice and had beautiful views of all of Downtown Vancouver and the Mountains. But the Worldmark “Hotel” did lack a few things – air conditioning, wifi internet, toiletries and maid service. Thank God for Blackberries or else the other executives probably would have demanded another hotel. I don’t want to make it seem like LA Execs are prima donnas – but we are sometimes. I’m a really easy person to please – but when you’re sick, in another Country and you have a million things to do, little hotel perks go a long way.

Anywho, I taught my classes Saturday morning – How to be Your Own Development Exec and No BS Guide to Pitchfests. They both were very well attended and I thought they went great (I will hopefully post some pictures soon!). The writers really seemed to respond to my No BullShit approach and they all seemed to take away something from the seminars. I was really impressed with the writers there, who all had some great questions and seemed really interested! Or maybe they were just placating me haha!  And I had brought some of my E-Books, which also sold pretty well. I can always tell even from looking at writers in my class, which ones are going to do well in their pitches. It’s like a 6^th sense but without dead people.

Saturday afternoon I had all to myself to play in Vancouver. I love days like this. And despite being increasingly under the weather, I was not going to let a cold ruin a beautiful day. So, I took a long walk down to the water and caught a SeaTrain over to North Vancouver and explored a bit. Then came back and walked all the way back to the hotel. That night, we had a lovely dinner at a very nice Italian restaurant and I was finally able to socialize and meet some of the other execs attending (they arrived later than I did so I hadn’t seen them yet). A couple of agents, a couple managers, and me. There weren’t that many execs from LA brought to the conference but we had a nice little group. I won’t dare repeat the items discussed at the dinner table, but a good time was had by all.

That night, a group of the LA execs went out and partied. I probably shouldn’t have, but I can’t turn down a good time. One of the agents knew an actress in town who knew some club promoters and we all got into a couple fun hotspots. But it had been a LOOONG day with no nap time, so most of us were back to the hotel by 1am, a pretty mild night considering.

Sunday was pitch day, but I woke up in Hell. I normally really enjoy the constant pitching, but my ears, nose, throat and body hurt. I had been taking cold pills since Saturday morning but they weren’t working. So I got MORE pills. And I could barely speak (teaching for 4 hours and screaming over music in the bars probably didn’t help). I will admit I became a bit of a diva and had someone get me tea and cold pills as the pitching began. THANK YOU to all the volunteers who helped me out!

I was actually pleasantly surprised – the pitches weren’t bad at all. I probably heard about 30-40 pitches in 10 minute increments. And only a couple were really bad. Most had taken my class the day before and knew what I wanted to hear. And the ones that didn’t…well…it was obvious. Only one man sat down and said, “This isn’t my best work…you’re going to hate it…I don’t even know why I’m pitching this…” before he even told me his title. Never lose before you even play the game. You need to be confident and sell yourself and your project even if you’re unsure.

And one other gentleman sat down and said he wanted to do a reality TV series on a very general topic, which I won’t mention, but didn’t have any idea on an angle, hook or premise. And when I politely told him that we don’t do reality TV – he just kept pushing. There was nothing I could do for him, so when I realized he was going to sit there for the whole 10 minutes instead of letting me sneeze and breathe in peace, I had to tell him that he needed to go back to the drawing board.

If you just have an idea for something but no hook, angle, premise, concept, or story – guess what – you don’t have enough! You need to be specific and educated on the topic. I actually thought his broad concept could be an interesting half hour sports special, but it wasn’t not a series. And even if it WAS – I don’t do reality TV! Pitching me harder isn’t going to make me become a reality TV producer!

I think the most common note I gave was that the writers’ story wasn’t going in the best direction possible or the set up wasn’t as good as it could be. Sometimes a writer has such a good idea but you can see the minute where it just went off-track and you want so badly to pull it back on the road and set them straight. That’s what I tried to do in my pitches.

Out of the 30-40 pitches I heard, I asked for about 5 or 6 scripts, which is about an average number for these events. So who knows…maybe one of these will totally blow me away. I got a few pitches that really sounded great and I’m hoping the scripts live up to the hype!!

Sunday night was our Oscar Party and while it was perfectly nice and fun and the food was pretty darn tasty (not to mention the free vodka!), I was full blown sick. I felt like crap. I was coughing and sneezing and worried about the plane ride home I’d be taking in 24 hours. So, once Avatar lost and Sandra Bullock won, I decided to forgo the late-night festivities and actually went back to the hotel, got all kinds of fuzzy on cold pills, and passed out before midnight. When I woke up, I only felt slightly better but the cough had gotten worse as had my ears. I was afraid my ear drums would literally rupture on the plane, but I was going to have to brave that chance.

I bought ear-planes – the earplugs for planes that have been tested by like the Navy – so I figured those would help. And thankfully, I found a wonderful plane-buddy in Ellen Sandler, one of the other speakers at the conference and an Emmy-nominated exec producer and writer for “Everybody Loves Raymond.” She by chance had changed her seat and was now stuck sitting next to me. But we chatted the whole way about the business and writing and she even read my E-Book and loved it, which I took as a great compliment as her book is fantastic and quite successful.

She was even nice enough to drive me home….awwww….I was thrilled to have gotten to know her on this trip and hopefully we will work together soon. I finally landed – with only minimal ear pain upon landing – but I was half deaf with totally clogged ears. Small price to pay I suppose for a fun and productive weekend in Vancouver!

I want to send a big thank you to all the volunteers, helpers, sponsors, etc that helped put on a great event and chauferred my sick butt around! But most of all, I’d like to thank Danika Dinsmore who did a great job with the classes and pitchfest, Marcy Schacter, who put together a great event and kept it moving, and Joan MacBeth for suggesting that I attend!

For those wondering, I’m hoping to be back in Vancouver before the end of the year to do a weekend of classes with Biz Books and Capilano University. I’ll keep ya posted! And if you know of a conference or group in YOUR town that is looking for a speaker, please, let me know. And hopefully I’ll see you all soon!

The Birth of Screenwriting

By Alecia Smith

In reference to my script titled, “The Performers” analyzed by Daniel Manus

So, analyze this! A script doesn’t become a script until it has been conceived with thoughts and ideas, and a back and forth motion of words and thoughts are released. These words, ideas and thoughts, known as the premise, travel to the paper where a burst of brainstorm hits and conception has begun.  A seed has been planted and now that seed must grow. We help nurture the little seed by feeding it with food such as characters, plots, sub-plots, and moments of “Damn this is good!” However, is it really good? Listen, if you have nine months to get this baby together before it is born, you have to prepare, stocking up on all the things you will need. 

So, let the birthing process begin.

How do you birth a really good screenplay?

This process is not as easy as it seems for many screenwriters, including myself. We all think we have a really good story. And I have to be honest, I was hit on the head by a hammer when I hired and started working with Daniel Manus of No BullScript Consulting. He has help me realized just how critical certain elements of screenwriting are like plot development and having three-dimensional characters. The process is painstakingly hard, and I’ve had a true moment of, “Is it all worth it?” I had to learn first hand just how to push the limits of writing a really great screenplay, let alone tell a story in industry standards of 120 pages (a 2 hr movie).

Three months ago, I had hired Daniel to complete studio coverage on “The Performers”, a romantic love story that was adapted from a previous script titled, “Something to Remember.” Daniel completed the coverage and I was excited and couldn’t wait to hear all the good news he would have for me. However, it wasn’t good news. The coverage stated that it was a sweetly played love story but with no real punch! He said the characters were superficially drawn and not three-dimensional and my second act just fell apart. The person he thought was the antagonist turned out to be a really good person. WTF?

Daniel said, “It’s great for a romantic novel, but not for film!” Of course, I’d taken this information as a slap in the face and I was really hurt. I really thought I had a pretty damn good story. I had many readings and people who were very excited about the story and then it hit me; everyone was not Daniel Manus. No one else was looking at it from an executive perspective. The story was just that – a good story. He pointed out what I did very well, and what I really needed to work on. I had a pretty solid premise, but the story was lacking the punch it needed to move it forward. There was confusion whether it was a romantic comedy or a drama. There were really funny lines, but not enough for it to be a comedy, and there really wasn’t enough ‘drama’ for it to be a drama. So, what is the genre? Daniel stated, “I needed to create the “OH MY GOD effect!” Things that may your jaw drop. It doesn’t have to be big budget, it can be small enough and still make you say wow!” So, I was given a challenge to go back and complete a re-write.  Daniel advised me that the story would be better told as a drama as opposed to a romantic comedy, because of its commercial appeal. It was up to me to take this advice or leave it. Should I re-write this story based on what someone else says, or should I just give up writing for good?

Wink …I took the challenge and decided to move forward with Daniel’s notes. He’s the birthing coach and I’m the pregnant lady that’s trying to give birth to a stubborn child.  I wasn’t feeding her right. I was using the wrong formula, which would explain why I was so sick when I heard the bad news.  I needed to help my baby grow by feeding her the right formula. It was really that simple, but the hard part was finding the right formula, so she could grow in order to be born. The formula was Daniel’s advice.

I’d gone to Office Depot and stocked up on paper, pens, highlighters and ink for my laser jet; I was ready. I sat and pondered the story; I didn’t want to change the story and I struggled immensely hard. “I don’t want to change my story!” Then, I realized I needed to find a way to make it punch and the only way to do that was to indeed change the story. It wasn’t easy, because I really loved the original, which was like a sweetly played Cinderella kind of theme. But I also knew that the Cinderella aspect would have to go if I really wanted to make this baby kick. After a few weeks of pondering, I told my self that I have the opportunity to tell a really great story, and deliver a powerful message. So, if I do this, I’ll have to go hard, really HARD!

So, I used the formula Daniel had given me and started forming a new treatment with all of my ideas from the original story and created something more dynamic. After weeks of writing the treatment, it was finished and I was scared all over again. It’s like going to the doctor for a check-up and you’re waiting to see if you’re going to have a healthy baby or not. So, I sent the treatment to Daniel to review it, to make sure I was heading in the right direction with the new developments.

Daniel read the treatment and we had our conference call to talk about what I’d done and the new direction. I didn’t know what to expect. Honestly, I felt Daniel was going to slice it with an ax from some bloody horror movie like he did my first script. I was expecting it. I’d prepared for it.  The first thing he said was, “Damn, you created a whole new story!” I chuckled a bit, because it was a whole new story – same characters and premise, just a new direction. Then he said in a subtle, yet timid voice, “Hmm, I read your formula and I was a little worried there for a minute. I didn’t know how this could be pulled off!”  Of course my face fell again, and I casually said, “Oh no!” falling into the slumps again. I was devastated! But he quickly continued, saying, “But you totally pulled it off! This is totally sellable in the market, providing you execute the screenplay well! Very good, Alecia!”

My face lit up like fireworks on the 4^th of July.  I was ecstatic, goober-excited to hear those words, “Very good!” and it was from an executive perspective. I apparently had followed the formula. We talked for two hours going over everything: the theme, the premise, the pace, the characters, the plots, and sub-plots. Daniel said that everything was there for a really sexy drama to unfold and my characters now seemed very three-dimensional. He gave me kudos for a really good treatment format too, excluding the grammatical errors (it was for his eyes only). Now the hard work was turning that treatment into a sellable screenplay. Daniel had only one problem with the treatment – I had so much going on, he wasn’t sure if I could fit it all in a 120-page script.

Months later, it’s January 2010 – a brand new year, and the screenplay is complete. It’s ready to be sent over to Daniel for coverage again. Fingers crossed. But little does Daniel know; there have been some new plot twists and developments that came from the powers of the universe. Totally unbelievable (in a good way) and the birthing process to writing a really good screenplay has begun. I totally look forward to Daniel’s response and feedback. I hope that I’ve executed a great screenplay and a really solid and powerful story. So to answer the question, “How do you birth a really good screenplay?”

1. You get advice from a screenwriting coach who knows what they are talking about.
2. You take that criticism and use it, even if it’s negative. Don’t throw it away. That’s valuable advice.
3. Learn how to take those mistakes and learn from them, by taking your time and pulling back. Reconsider all options. Remember you’re feeding your baby the wrong formula.
4. You follow the instructions (the formula) your coach has given to you.
5. Follow your gut and go for it! If it speaks to you, your baby is telling you something. Even if it’s not the original direction you wanted. Take the risk and go for it. It may just pay off.
6. Read books and other screenplays by writers whose scripts have been produced and turned into film. They are a great reference tool.
7. You execute the formula correctly and you will have a really good and healthy baby (screenplay). Don’t give up. Keep writing.

Writing a great screenplay is about executing the formula. Making sure you have a solid premise, theme, plots, twist and great characters to move your story forward.  For more information on writing great screenplays, read Robert McKee’s “Story,” an amazing book. It’s available for purchase at Barnes and Noble and the audio version on iTunes.

If you are an aspiring screenwriter who has friends that keep telling you that your story is the greatest, then have Daniel Manus take a look at it and get a professional, executive’s perspective on it – you will be amazed. His notes are exactly as advertised – “NO BULLSHIT!” It may hurt, but wouldn’t you want someone to tell you that you’re making mistakes and give you the opportunity to correct them and let your work shine! Or would you prefer to rely on your friends and be set up for failure, because they won’t be honest with you, because they know how much it means to you and don’t want to hurt your feelings. The choice is yours.

Daniel is as honest as it gets and I highly recommend him. Just like his tagline says, “Hate me today …Love me in your acceptance speech!” I know I will and that’s why he’s my professional reader! Please visit Daniel Manus and No BullScript Consulting at www.nobullscript.net

Wish me success!

Alecia Smith, Screenwriter of “Elysian Fields & Love Stronger than Pride”

Brainstorming…When it Rains it Pours

Have you ever gotten stuck? Ever know that there’s an answer out there that will bring your whole script together but you just…can’t…find it? Or perhaps you’ve got a great logline and concept but you just don’t know where to take the story that will make it commercial and complex? What do you do? Well I suggest it’s time for a brainstorming session. And I suggest you don’t do it alone.

Around the end of the year, it’s easy to put things in a drawer and just wait until January to start something new. But that just means December is the perfect time for brainstorming.  It’s often helpful to make a list or speak out loud – you might just come up with the answer you’re looking for, but if you’re doing this by yourself, you might not realize it. Stream of Conscious sessions can be great to stir up ideas but I think they are even more productive if there’s someone weathering the brain-storm with you who knows what they are talking about and can say, “Yes! That’s it! Try that idea!”

Writers at every level use this technique to fix a story problem, flesh out their stories or come up with new ones. It’s a service that some script consultants offer, including myself. It’s basically like having your own development executive by your side to help you realize what’s working, what isn’t, and why. I highly recommend it and have found that many of my clients at No BullScript have come to love it. Some writers want someone there through the whole process – like a mentor – from fleshing out the idea through the writing of the first or second draft to make sure you stay on track, story-wise. Others just want a professional stamp of approval and suggestions on an idea or storyline before they write it because they are worried they might be wasting their time. It’s certainly better to use a consultant at this point rather than wait for the pitchfest and use the executive as a barometer on your story. You only get one chance with them!

I feel like two heads are often better than one. I had two recent clients that found the answers they were searching for after a brainstorming session. The first just couldn’t come up with a third act turning point – a catalyst that was sufficient enough to bring her characters together. Her current one was too dark and just didn’t fit the story, and she had dismissed others because they didn’t seem original or important enough. And it was through just brainstorming during a phone consultation – listing all the things that could happen to this character – that we figured out the one that fit. 

Another client of mine had a million ideas and loglines but no sufficient storylines fleshed out and he didn’t know where to begin and was worried about taking them in the wrong direction. So what did we do? He sent me 10 ideas (a logline and whatever thoughts or bits of information he had already worked out) and I brainstormed possible storylines for all the ones I thought worked, creating some characters, some storylines, and basically giving him options on ways the story could go that matched what he wanted. And when I sent the ideas back, he had all these options to choose from that reinforced his belief that he had some great concepts to work with and he couldn’t wait to start writing.

In general, this is a great exercise for writers. Come up with 10 loglines – they don’t all have to be winners – and then take the 5 you like best and spend 15-30 minutes on each,  brainstorming storylines or characters or plot points that could flesh out the story and write them all down. You don’t have to be too specific, but sometimes a certain scene or line will pop into your brain – write ‘em down! You may not like any of them, or you might find a trend or theme that could help you with other projects. Or maybe – you will create a story you fall in love with. Being able to plot out a general story in a short amount of time will really help you down the line.

As an executive, I used to do this all the time, but the days where a company will just work on a pitch from scratch with a writer (especially an unproduced or first time writer) are over. Nowadays, you not only need a completed script but preferably a package. But you can still do this on your own, or with a consultant.

Brainstorming with a consultant isn’t about telling a writer what they should write – it’s about giving that creative rock the first nudge down the hill and helping set up different ways for it to fall — and then letting the writer take over. Sometimes a writer just needs someone to talk to – to flesh out ideas out loud. Or create a list of every possible option and eliminate from there. Talking to your buddy or family member or dog is great but isn’t going to give you the constructive feedback you need to make this list productive or make you see the bigger, sellable picture.

If you are interested in a brainstorming or story conception/direction session, or are looking for professional feedback on your ideas, please contact me at Daniel@nobullscript.net. And in the meantime, keep thinking, and keep writing!

What Elements Make for a Good Dramatic Screenplay?

Some say comedy is hard. And they’re right. But in my opinion it’s not as hard as crafting a good, successful, engrossing drama. Why? Well, even the dumbest of comedic gags or basest of jokes, will inevitably make someone laugh and be entertained. But a good drama has to do so much more than that. There’s a reason why almost 50% of the Oscar Winning Best Pictures in the last 80 years have been dramas.

There is something powerful about a story that just wraps around you and sucks you in, making you forget your own problems and forces you to care about those of an often fictional character or at least someone to whom you have no personal connection. There’s something powerful about a story that can reduce your father to tears – or an audience of fathers. There’s something timeless about a good story that can make you think, reflect, feel, and react emotionally. And this is what a good dramatic screenplay should do.

So how do you achieve that type of reaction? Well, it’s not easy.  But there are some keys to crafting a good dramatic screenplay. Let’s look at some examples of Oscar Nominated (or winning) dramas and see if there are any trends you notice. Schindler’s List, Forrest Gump, Titanic, American Beauty, A Beautiful Mind, Saving Private Ryan, Mystic River, A Few Good Men, Crash, Shawshank Redemption, The Queen, Apollo 13, Dead Man Walking, The Insider, Traffic, Slumdog Millionaire, etc.

What do these movies have in common? There are three different trends and categories I’ve found.  First, there are true stories. Often the most dramatic stories are the ones that have actually happened or are based on actual events/people. The world is full of drama. However, the stories that movies are made about have something extra. They have broad appeal and national recognition, perhaps even historical significance. There’s something commercial about them, something that connects instead of detracts. The writer will take an event (or person or story or societal issue) and find an interesting and commercial hook they can explore to create a new angle on the story and those involved.  Some true stories expose something about people or an event or society as a whole that is unexpected, intriguing or brings something to light that has never been seen in that visual way before. From the above list, Titanic, Schindler’s List, The Queen, Apollo 13, Traffic and The Insider would all qualify under this trend.

The second trend is epics. Oscar loves the epic and executives love big projects that feel like a whole new world is being created. Having a sweeping feeling means you are swept away by the story to a different place. Titanic, Saving Private Ryan, The English Patient, Braveheart, Elizabeth, Cold Mountain, etc. These are all sweeping epics. To be an epic, a script must have that sweeping feel to it, it almost always takes place in a different time period, it must be big budget, have action, romance, drama, numerous or at least large locations, a good number of characters (though only 2 or three strong leads), etc. Now, if you’re a first time writer, do yourself a favor and don’t write an epic. It will not sell and it will not do you any good as a first and only writing sample. Save it for after you’ve made your first sale.

The third and final trend is that great dramatic stories start with great characters. Forrest Gump, American Beauty, A Beautiful Mind, Shawshank Redemption, Mystic River, A Few Good Men, Crash, Dead Man Walking, Milk, The Wrestler, etc. It was the character – and the portrayal of that character through brilliant acting – that brings out the true power of the story and makes it connect to an audience. The story of Slumdog Millionaire was a universal, tried and true, rags to riches love story but without the setting (which was the most important character) and those little kids that the audience just fell for, that story wouldn’t have won anything.

If your drama doesn’t have a juicy, complex, emotional, heart-wrenching, personal, intelligent, connectable role for an actor – it’s dead in the water.  A good dramatic screenplay has characters people can relate to and ones that come off as genuine – like you can understand exactly why they are doing what they are doing or feeling what they are feeling, etc. Same with dialogue – in a good drama, the dialogue is slightly heightened but it feels authentic – like it’s exactly what we would say in that same situation (though perhaps more verbose and intelligent – it is a movie after all). And as a side note, don’t be afraid to inject some comedy into your dramatic scenes. Except for Schindlers List, every single drama listed above has more than one moment of levity.

However, there is one thing that every good drama needs no matter what the story is. It’s more than a trend – it’s the mandatory ingredient – CONFLICT. Drama is based on conflict. And not just any conflict, but one that is powerful, relatable, and complex enough to propel a story forward and help develop characters. The story has to be constantly progressing and increasingly more involved as dramas are the most likely genre to get stale or boring. So many ideas for dramas just aren’t BIG enough, so they feel slight on the page. If there is no tension, no conflict, no build to something powerful, then your script is BORING. I can’t tell you how many scripts I read where the writer thinks there is conflict, but alas, there isn’t nearly enough for a feature. There needs to be an immediate tangible conflict, a personal aka internal conflict, an inter-personal conflict AND an overarching conflict. And your story should bring all of these together in interesting and commercial ways. If you only have ONE of these, you don’t have a good dramatic screenplay.

Now, recently dramas have been on the decline. Why? Because everyone has drama in their real life, so it’s not what they want to see on the screen. However, movies like “Precious” will do well because it actually makes most people’s drama seem not so bad. Audiences either want to be completely entertained or made to think their life doesn’t suck as badly as other people’s. And if there was only ONE drama produced per year, you could bet it would still be nominated. So, search for the conflict, the story or the character that inspires you, grabs you and affects you – and if you can’t find one, make one up. And keep writing!

(Article was originally published on Storylink and can also be found at http://www.storylink.com/article/333)

The Age Old/Old Age Question

I was recently asked by one of the writers in my seminar – “Am I too old to be writing screenplays and trying to break in to the business? Am I too old to get hired?” And my short quick answer was NO! However, the longer answer is a bit more involved and not quite as inspiring.

Of course you are never too old to write – even if you’re too old to hold a pen, you can still write. And there is no age limit on creativity. A writer can be prolific at any age and if you’ve been writing for 30 years, you’re probably a lot better then you were when you started. But writing isn’t the same thing as breaking into the film industry. There is no question that Hollywood is an ageist industry. If you START writing screenplays when you’re 60, you’re going to have a harder time than those trying to break in at 22 or 25 years old. This business is run by billionaires over 60 and executives under 35.  In most industries, the older you are, the wiser and more experienced people think you are. In Hollywood, the older you are, the more detached from the prime demographic you are thought to be.

There are a few reasons why being older makes it harder to break in (though definitely not impossible).  First, as you get older, chances are your connection to what’s “hip” and what can sell gets that much more removed. Do you know the hottest TV shows, movies, books, music, actors, internet sites, words, phrases, lingo, etc.? Probably not.

Writers write what they know or what they would like to go see themselves. The problem with this is that if you’re over 50 or so, chances are what you like to see isn’t the same as the prime 18-49 demographic. Most writers over 60 that pitch to me have either written a period piece, an autobiography or story about something that happened to them, or a family drama that suspiciously sounds like their own family. And these aren’t what sell. You know how when you go over to Grandma’s house, sometimes she wants to whip out the old home movies…well…if your grandkids don’t want to watch them, why would kids all over the country? It’s just about connecting with what sells (see my previous articles on the period piece and autobiography for more on this).

Second, because executives are usually 25-35 years old, sometimes it’s hard for them to give notes to their grandparents. And speaking from experience, the older one is, often the more “stuck in their ways” they can become and to succeed in Hollywood, you have to be incredibly collaborative, malleable and willing to completely change everything. In other words, don’t be that old curmudgeon on the porch who screams and rants about “those crazy kids.”

Lastly, and this is going to sound harsh, but if you’re first breaking in at age 65, then an agent or manager has to look at how many productive and creative years they have left to work with you. Most agents look for clients that they can have a long, productive and profitable relationship with. And five or ten years isn’t that long if you’re still working on only your second script.

Something I’ve discovered is that everyone wants to leave a legacy. Everyone wants to leave their stamp on the world in some way (other than just having children) and screenwriting is a great way to do that. I think this is why so many people, upon retiring from their different chosen profession, choose to start writing. The day job is over and now they can write and tell their story, express themselves, etc. It’s the legacy they want to leave. If you get a movie made, your name is forever and always on that project in the history of Hollywood (for better or worse). And this is completely understandable and commendable. However, I will point out that Jay Leno had a chance to be remembered as one of the great late night personalities of all time, and now he will be remembered as the person who not only killed NBC, but perhaps killed primetime.

Now before all you AARP members throw your Final Draft CD away and come after me with pitchforks and torches, I want to give you the upside. Companies are so hungry for new, original, well-written material that they don’t care who or where it comes from. A couple years ago, I was queried on virtualpitchfest.com and I asked to read the script. It was a young, female-skewed romantic comedy. I loved it, my boss loved it and we optioned the script. Six months later, the writer, who lived in the Midwest, made a trip to LA and we finally met – and he was a tall, older man – easily in his 60s with pants higher than my grandfather’s. Ya know what? It didn’t matter. His script was great. I connected him with a manager, who got him an agent and he has gone on to write numerous projects for Hallmark Channel and is now writing full time.

Screenwriting contests and query websites are completely anonymous. No one knows how old you are or where you’re from. They only know if you can write and tell a good story. If you are a finalist in the Nicholls or Disney Fellowship or some other prestigious contest, you’re going to get representation and meetings no matter how old you are. So, at the end of the day, while it is harder, you can absolutely still break in at an older age. You may just need to go about it a different way and you need to pay attention to the marketplace and pop culture even more than your younger competition so that no one can say that you’re out of touch. Now let’s go grab that early bird special and get to work!

You Had Me at Hello: How to Make Your First Page Shine

You’ve all heard the horror stories of producers who only read the first page and if they’re not hooked, intrigued or impressed, they toss the script. And it’s been drilled into you how important the first page is and how you better have something big and shiny there to keep people’s attentions and make sure they read page two. And while I’ve never ONLY read one page of a script before passing, I can usually tell if it’s going to be a worthwhile script just by reading this single piece of paper, representative of weeks, months or years of hard work. Fair? No. True? Yes. An A-list writer once said ‘It usually takes one page to figure out if the writing is good, but one line to know if it’s bad.’

Much like your title and your logline, your first page needs to tell a reader certain things. It should set up and tell us the tone of the script. Is it dark and creepy, is it happy and funny, is there a sense of suspense, uneasiness, anxiety, death, happiness, love, etc. Your first page should make us feel an emotion – whatever the correct emotion is for your story. It should tell us the setting and time period so we know where we are. Unless otherwise stated, execs will assume your script takes place in the present. If it doesn’t, you should state this on page one so we know that your writing is genuine to the time period.

If you are writing a horror, there should be a feeling that death is looming (think the first scene of “Scream”). If you’re writing a comedy, something should be done or said or seen that makes me laugh. And if you’re writing an action movie, you should start with a bang or at least make it clear that a bang is coming right around the corner.

It should introduce us to either your protagonist/hero or your antagonist/villain. Sometimes it’s creepy to start by focusing on the bad guy or his crime or something like that. With a horror movie, much like with TV shows, the first scene is often a teaser setting up a killing that may not include your main characters at all, but sets up the story and the tone and that your main characters will soon be put into a similar gruesome situation. Your description of your main character should be a bit more extensive and really make us feel like we know him or her, though it should not tell us anything that we can’t physically see on screen. Don’t give us back story in your description on page one unless we are seeing it on screen – that’s an amateur mistake. 

Obviously there should not be any typos or grammatical or formatting mistakes. If your first page has a couple typos, I will not read page two. Life’s too short. You should start your first page with FADE IN: and that should be the last time you type those words. Then comes your scene heading and then…you’re off.

And finally, your first page should grab me and show me that you have a voice as a writer that is going to make this script an enjoyable read. It should tell me in subtle and interesting ways that you are unique. And most importantly, it should make me want to read more.

You can use a fair amount of description on page one – more than usual – as you are setting up a fair amount of information. I know I’ve said that executives love white space and more dialogue on the page, but the first page is the exception page. It’s fine to open with some dialogue (usually done more in comedies then other genres), but it’s okay to switch up the ratio on page one also.

I wanted to share with you a few often-made first page mistakes. First, if the whole first page is just a narrator’s voice over speech with no description or action or anything happening on screen, this tells me there’s nothing happening. Even if you’re using a voice over as the first dialogue in your script, you have to set the scene first and tell us what we’re seeing. If I am totally confused and have no idea where the script is taking place, this will cause a “huh?” moment, and you don’t want one of these on page one. If the dialogue is cliché or feels slight or stale or repetitive, that’s going to be an instant turn off. If there’s dialogue on page one, it needs to pop and put us into the mindset and voice of the character.

Basically you need to paint a picture on page one and make it clear that your story is visual and your writing is interesting. Can you do all these things on page one? Well, it’s not easy. But the more of these things you can do, the better the chance that people get to page two…ten… and 110.

Bringing Spiritualism to the Screen – God Help You

As I travel the country speaking to new groups of writers and attending pitchfests and conferences outside of Los Angeles, a certain trend in the types of material I hear has become clear and it alludes to a huge cultural difference between those who live in LA and NY and those who live elsewhere.

At an LA-based pitching conference, perhaps 5 out of 100 pitches I receive revolve around spirituality, new age religion or some faith-infused plotline. But at recent trips to Santa Fe, Portland, and Dallas, I would say at least 40% of the total projects I was pitched or consulted on were based on spirituality in some form, including some sort of Native American angle or practice. Since Native Americans currently only make up about 5% of the U.S. population, why do people think this would be a big commercial success?

And why is this observation of the connection between location and religion important? Because if no one in LA connects to this spiritual/new age/true believers movement, then why would we make a movie about it? Now, Los Angelinos are known for being progressive, spiritual and new age, but we’re more the organic, yoga, too lazy for real religion type of progressive. Screenwriters and producers in Los Angeles worship a different deity…and it’s green and fits in your wallet. I am convinced that this difference in attitude towards religion is what’s keeping many writers from writing a commercial project – because they think religion IS commercial…and it’s not.

Religious types will often retort with how successful “Passion of the Christ” was – and it was – but that was an anomaly directed by Mel Gibson. Now, there is a huge book market for these types of projects and most of these pitches would make for great novels, just not movies.

There is also a big and potentially profitable niche market for faith-based movies – “Fireproof” proved that one. However, this is a mostly Christian market and we all know how Christians feel when someone tries to horn in on Jesus. So, there really is no market for new age spirituality or Native American tradition. I cannot think of one company that is actively looking for anything like this. If I’m wrong, please – companies – tell me so because I got about 100 pitches I’d like to send your way.

I respect how important spiritualism is to some people and if there is some sort of religious theme you would like to express through a completely unrelated story, that’s fine. Or maybe you read a passage in the Bible and it inspires an idea for a horror or action movie – that’s fine. Or maybe a character’s spiritual beliefs are a small part of his or her arc – that’s fine too. You just have to be aware of how much you are including the religious/spiritual aspects on the page. I understand trying to bring one’s religious beliefs to a larger audience – but that’s what Republicans are for, not screenwriters. As a general rule, if you want to write a commercial and mainstream Hollywood movie, keep your religious beliefs in your heart and your head, not on the page.